Corner Booth at Hudson's

For Gertrude...Just Because It's WednesdayXOXOXO

2008-10-15T03:49:00.046-05:00

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
~Henry Ford

...Every Minute of Every Day of My Life.

Breaking News!!!Reagan Endorses Obama!

2008-10-15T02:53:00.000-05:00

If Only

2008-08-27T03:03:00.003-05:00

She had sounded half as Presidential during the primaries, instead of the 'how dare you challenge me' entitled Republican in sexy Democratic clothing debutante that she came off as during the primaries, this decision would have been much more difficult from the 'get go'.

She'll be a GREAT Attorney General. Seriously.

Might Wanna Check That List Again...

2008-08-26T09:53:00.003-05:00

Dave Freeman, 47, co-author of "100 Things to Do Before You Die," died August 17th after falling and hitting his head at his home in Venice, California.

Maybe he should have made a longer list.

The producers of "My Name is Earl" should pay attention to this one.

Open House!

2008-08-16T11:48:00.002-05:00

I'm done and Hysteria Lane is ready for its big close up!
Its a new address so take note.
My new home is finished.
Welcome!
Welcome!

Thirty One Years

2008-08-15T22:01:00.005-05:00

My favorite Elvis performance. Look and that smile and tell me you don't love him!

My first home was a condo painted Pepto Pink with black and white pictures of Elvis every where.
Little Plus One history... he helped me paint that condo so many years ago.

The King.
What he has meant to me over the years has changed.
Used to he was part of my identity. I owned the right to be the only living Elvis fan.
Gradually he became something that brought me great comfort but I stopped kicking peoples asses in the parking lot when they said they too liked Elvis.
I still know more Elvis trivia than your average person.
I still love his movies and his music.

For my 30th Zelda and I made pilgrimage. She had been before but I never had.
Graceland is a small modest home really. But I was still soul stirred when I walked in the grass and imagined I was truly walking in the footsteps of the King. I also remember there was an Oklahoma flag on his grave that day.

A couple of random things:
the first Elvis fan club I tried to join... my letter came back marked Return to Sender.
I still have my mint condition Elvis stamp voting ballots.
Also many Bradford exchange plates, Elvis "Barbie" dolls still in the boxes unopened and stacks and stacks of Elvis trading cards reissued circa 1992-93.
My favorite Elvis movie is King Creole.
My favorite Elvis to watch impersonate Elvis is of course Nick Cage. Wild at Heart... Treat me like a fool.
I do remember when he died. I do. I wasn't very old. But I loved him then. My mother spun his records all the time.
I had an orange t shirt with one of those old crispy 70's iron on's of the King on the front of it. I wore it with my zip up the side brown boots and my light blue jeans that had zippers everywhere.
It might still be my favorite outfit I have ever worn to this day.
I used to want my ashes sprinkled on Graceland when I died. And I still wouldn't mind someone taking a handful and pitching it over the wall.
When I walked into Graceland with Zelda this song was playing:
Its my favorite.
It also expresses how I feel about being minus Plus One this weekend very well.

Elvis to me now...
it reminds me of dancing with my Grammy in her living room.
My Grammy is one world class dancer. Old, old school dancing. She does the jitterbug and waltz's with my Grandfather... they are so light on their feet and beautiful to watch it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.
I know it reminds Noodle of me.
We did a little dancing to Elvis once upon a time ourselves when she was little. I would take her in my arms and she would laugh and drool and bounce up and down. I don't know if she'll remember that when she is older like I do with Grammy. But I hope she does.

Elvis. He was beautiful indeed. The hair didn't move unless the hips and knees moved and his lips parted in such a way while he was singing that girls just passed smooth out in front of his from hysteria.
I would have loved to have seen him Live. To feel that myself.
Elvis is part of my childhood... part of my child's childhood and I hope she will pass the love along to her children.
Last video... it was the first time America saw him... and it was love at first sight and we still love him.

The wheels on the bus

2008-08-15T08:13:00.003-05:00

Noodle has a great day! A great day! The girls are great. The boys are not. Thank God right? She is ten.
I was taking her to the bus for the first time today and she thought we'd missed it.
Tears started rolling down her face and she yelled at me a little bit.
Its all passion! And thats fine.
We didn't miss the bus. I just didn't know where it was parked. All is good.
She got deposited and I got to work early!

Plus One. We've had a rough week. Distance training. Preparing for the marathon. We won't see one another for 2.5 weeks. Seems like forever. You all know if you've ever had a long distance relationship. Its just not easy on the heart.
Thank the good Lord for planes, trains and automobiles. That the good Lord for email, blogs, telephones and text messages.

I miss him kids. I miss his face and all things Plus One related.

Its Friday! Its hard to say that with a straight face... considering its a minus Plus One weekend.

Thanks to everyone for keeping me up on the Olympic coverage. I haven't watched anything. Really. I have even missed Matt in the morning. I said... its been a hard week of distance training.

But I did get to finally watch my girl last night and she is still delicious.
I know that their are a lot of people who would argue that she is not the greatest role model but I disagree. I think she is perfect.

School Spirit

2008-08-14T10:38:00.002-05:00

First day of the 5th grade.
Holy Moly.
My uterus is happy and sad.

You should have seen that little woman go out the door this morning.
She was dressed in khaki knee short, a light pink t shirt and a sweet little white shrug sweater.

Yesterday she got her nails and toes done in school colors green and white.
And even had some rhinestones set in the thumbs and big toes!

So freaking excited to go to the Farm School!
My Dad took her to school and walked in with her...
he was going to stay and eat breakfast with her but she wasn't having any of it.
Bye Pops!
All of our hearts are breaking and swelling wide open.

She is not a baby anymore.

I only made it up thru the fifth grade

2008-08-13T10:05:00.005-05:00

Back to school is tomorrow.
Noodle. 5th grade.
Flop.
Can't believe my child is THIS BIG.
Too late to stuff her back in.
Gone are the days when she was the size where her tiny head fit in my hand and her little legs straddled my arm at the elbow.
She is almost as big as me.

She is so excited.
Ready to ride that bus and eat the school cafeteria food!
New friends. New adventures. New life in the Bat Shit Crazy Town.

This weekend its all she and I.
A little end of summer bash.
Movies and food.
We'll talk of new things and starting over and how exciting change can be.
We'll watch Gilmore Girls and eat chips and dip in bed.
We'll go on a long walk with the lads in the evening.
Just right down our street is where I went to the fifth grade and she is dying to see me do a flip off the apparatus that is still standing from my days there.

We also have family in for a visit. Barb and Bob! And they are always a hoot!
Poker and game night Saturday at the Farmhouse.

Love you all a million times over and under and up and down.
Life is wonderful.

'Nuther Round Over Here Please!!!

2008-08-13T09:46:00.002-05:00

Hi ya kids! Glad we're all back at the Booth for a bit. Happy Hour isn't the same without all of us sliding our butts in here and horking down cold ones!

Gert, totally on board with the construction over on the Lane. I was working on a reply email last night but my silly little machine decided she was DONE for the night and flop. I am seriously thinking about a new one. Seriously. Like I can afford one more little payment a month for the rest of my life but the "i want" bug as bitten me and sunk it's sharp shiny teeth in deep this time....sigh.

I stayed up late last night to the very very end of the coverage. Midnight or something around that number. I don't work until noon on Wed but my morning routine is up at the normal 6:30, gym and workout, putz around house, get ready, run errands. I have to run by State and get my Sis a flat iron and product to take this weekend. Anyway...my point is this. I didn't do shinola of any of that. I was wound for sound last night so took two Tyl PM and conk a lonked right to sleep. I got out of bed around 9. No working out. And now, am just trying to get up the gumption to clean myself and get to the supply house to by my sis her list of needs.

I am ridiculous.
but you guys knew that, eh?

Joe, I had a great time Monday night. For reals. I told the redhead you were maybe going to contact him regarding some stand up/filming stuff. How did parent night go?

What's on our plates this friday night ya'll? I could go for some facetime with the three of us...I leave for Arkansas Saturday after I get off work. coming home Monday morning to be at the dentist at 11. ugh. Double Ugh. So anyway, that's that. Happy Days. I'm going to the circus to make sure people know about The Booth.

love and light.

For Gertrude

2008-08-13T08:46:00.002-05:00

Here's one of my 'new' discoveries, starring one of Gertrude's new favorites, Mr. Dylan Moran, lately of Run Fatboy Run note and also Shawn of the Dead (which I'm still trying to get her to watch--it's not really a horror movie!).

Enjoy.

This is a Britcom from a few years ago called "Black Books", enjoy.

Phor Zelda

2008-08-13T08:27:00.005-05:00

"If you were wondering if Michael Phelps is good enough to do it with his eyes closed, the answer apparently is yes."

Bob Costas, aphter Michael Phelps' goggles philled with water shortly aphter beginning the 200 Phly yesterday, ephectively blinding him.

Oh, and he won his 10th and 11th Gold last night, just for you Z. (Like I need to give you and inphormation on Phelps)

The moon is AWESOME!

Hysteria Lane under construction

2008-08-12T17:48:00.003-05:00

For a couple of reasons:
One being alarm bells went off at work today about the amount of time we all spend on the Internet.
Boo.
But I was so afraid that the IT guys would be following links and keystrokes and I just smooth put my finger to my forehead and disappeared.
So I will be watching that to see what comes up and out.
Hopefully its just because of a virus or something.
When I passed the IT room today all the guys looked so freaking pensive.
And they are usually cutting up and laughing and farting... things boys do when you get more than two in a room together.
The other reasons...
well some things just take some time, love and tenderness.
And though I'm a very open person with all of you I have recently discovered that being completely open is not always whats required or needed.
Blogger has been publishing my Edit's for some time.
I have expressed grief about it before.
So until I can find out why technology is not my friend...
Hysteria Lane will remain Under Construction.

You all know from years and years back...
I am a bit paranoid.
And I like things controlled.
So go with it.

Jump into the Corner Booth with me for awhile and chug some shots with me!
I still be here... regular cat woman time. Regular cat women channel. Cougar cat really! Meow!

After all its just Geography!

Post this around on your blog links so everywhere will know where I have reappeared.

Much love.
Gert

Danger Will Robinson!

2008-08-11T13:57:00.000-05:00

Mad skills or crazy lucky...you decide.

Who Knew???

2008-08-05T22:28:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See you at the debates, bitches!

George Carlin 1937-2008 Dammit

2008-06-23T00:46:00.005-05:00

Comedian George Carlin Dies in Los Angeles at 71

Reuters
Monday, June 23, 2008; 12:54 AM
LOS ANGELES - Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital Sunday, a spokesman said. He was was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, died at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.

Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine about seven dirty words you could not say on television. A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of his "Filthy Words" routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court.

Here he is, in all his genius...
(Careful if you're at work-headphones might be best)

(Long Version)

(Short Version, with somebody's attempt at South Park animation)

Do please stop by...

2008-06-13T09:27:00.003-05:00

...Some Things I Know and Some Things I Don't, my other semi-regular verbal vomit ground. I am trying to post both here and there much more often than I have in recent months, so, add me to your Google Reader or other RSS feed tracker if you don't mind.

It's always nicer to know people might be reading what you send out in the ether. Otherwise, it's kinda like tossing an aural hotdog down a soundproof hall, to coin a paraphrase.

A Little Something for Gertrude...orRDJ Continues to Take Over the World

2008-06-10T10:14:00.003-05:00

Wow. It's as if they stocked this one just for you...if only there was a special, post-credit appearance by Russell Crowe or Matthew McConaughey and you'd be slipping out of your seat...

On the promise of seeing this cameo, I'm thinking a few more people may go see this.

As Dr. Banner's alter ego would say in the comics
"HULK SMASH MARKY MARK"

Who Do You Love?

2008-06-02T19:06:00.000-05:00

Bo, we hardly knew ye.

The Movie Better Be As Funny As This...orThe Return of Robert Downey, Jr., Continues

2008-06-02T00:40:00.005-05:00

Just in case you've somehow managed to miss any of the crazy early pre-pub on Tropic Thunder (the damn thing doesn't open 'til August 15th, I'm afraid people may get tired of it before it hits screens), here's the latest from last night's MTV Movie Awards.

I've got priors, so I'm gonna roll(!)

There was this from last weeks American Idol Final

And then here are a couple of trailers for actual movie they're promoting...

Talk About Being Stoned Out of Your Skull...

2008-05-09T14:00:00.001-05:00

HOUSTON - Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.

Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens' story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.

A woman who answered the phone at Gonzalez's home declined comment. A telephone number for Jones could not immediately be found, and it wasn't clear from court records if either had an attorney.

Police were interviewing Jones about the use of a stolen debit card when he told them about the grave theft, which purportedly occurred around March 15, according to court documents. Asked why Jones would volunteer such a story, Chomiak said, "We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind."

Gonzalez confirmed the story to investigators in a follow-up interview. Police were led to a heavily wooded site in Humble where they found a knocked-over headstone and water-filled hole more than 4 feet deep. At the time, the muddy water did not allow police to see if the coffin had been disturbed.

"They dug into this gravesite and that was enough to warrant the abuse of corpse charge," Chomiak said. "There has to be further investigation into the actual gravesite."

Police believe the grave is that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. Preliminary reports indicate it was part of a 19th-century veterans cemetery, Chomiak said. While residents in the area knew of the cemetery's existence, it did not appear to be maintained

Just a Jack Johnson Kinda Day...

2008-05-07T09:08:00.003-05:00

Not a dismal, mopey, think about things rainy day, just a day of showers.

Enjoy the rain, kids.

Send the good out there; let's keep it a TORnada Free Zone...

Best. Superhero. Movie. Yet.

2008-05-02T12:22:00.005-05:00

Go. Go Now. Go Now Fast.

So Much Better Than Chris Elliott...

2008-05-01T12:24:00.001-05:00

Iron Man Trailer to be Adapted into Full Length Feature

2008-04-15T16:28:00.001-05:00

50 Best...?

2008-04-04T21:52:00.006-05:00

Kizz started this one within our own micro- blogosphere, and, me being the Joe that I am, can’t just leave well enough alone…

Look at Kizz’s post to see the original instructions from candlewaxdreams. Now, I’m not saying that mine are better, it’s just, as any of you that know me (or remember my bloated ‘10’ albums you’d need on a desert island list) my world is a complex tapestry colored by heretofore unseen shades of gray.

Thus, my 7 additional conditional instructions…just to make sure people don’t get the wrong idea.

(Is it any wonder we Democrats have had such a time uniting over the last half-generation? We can’t even decide what ‘is’ is…)

So, with what is left of the furthest extension of ado, here it is:

Empire Magazine has revealed its list of the "50 Greatest TV Shows" ever. So, of course, LJ-ers have leapt upon the opportunity and made it into a meme.

1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of (or at least feel like you have)
2. Italicize the shows you've seen at least one episode of
3. Italicize and Underline the shows you’ve seen, liked and watched, but just haven’t followed religiously*
4. Italicize and Bold those shows that you’ve seen, liked and kick yourself for not watching more of
5. Bold, Italicize and Underline those shows that started out strong but stayed too long at the dance.
6. ~~Bold, Italicize, Underline and Strikethrough those shows that you’ve seen and can’t understand/support them being on this list.~~*
7. [Bracket those shows you’ve never heard of]
8. Leave the ones that you haven’t seen alone.
9. Post your answers
10. List your faves not on the list

*[ Just in case you're not familair with HTML, before a passage you want to underline, or strikethrough enter (without the spaces between characters) < u > < s > (or both) and at the end of enter < / u > < / s >

50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City (Thank You, Gertrude)
45. Farscape
44. Cracker (UK Original)
43. Star Trek
42. [Only Fools and Horses]
41. Band of Brothers
40. [Life on Mars]
39. Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted
35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas (Original)
32. ~~Babylon 5~~
31. Deadwood
30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. [Red Dwarf]
25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. ~~Angel~~
20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who
15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld
10. [Spaced]
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends
06. 24
05. Lost – Not one single episode.
04. The West Wing – Even the post-Sork eps work (for the most part)—such strong characters
03. The Sopranos
02. ~~Buffy the Vampire Slayer~~
01. The Simpsons

Left Offs that Hurt My Feelings:

Studio 60 from the Sunset Strip
John From Cincinatti
Mad About You (Shut Up! My List)
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Office (US)
Saturday Night Live
Boston Legal (Again, Thank You, Gertrude)
The Young Ones
Gilmore Girls (And Yet Again, Thank You, Gertrude)
Hill Street Blues
Law & Order
All in the Family
The Cosby Show
Fat Albert

And…

Cheers (!) Hellllooooo…? Who the hell works at Empire Magazine anyway? Come to think of it, if Empire Magazine were on a list of Top 50 Magazines, according to the Instructions According to Joe, it would get a [Empire Magizine] entry.

The First Baseball Game

2008-04-01T13:44:00.002-05:00

It's Time. Play Ball, People. Play Ball. (and laugh your balls off to this)

I had some additional plans for this post but had to abandon them in the middle of building them the other day--It's better just to get this out there so you can enjoy it and I'll get my tribute to the return of The Boys of Summer up sooner rather than later hopefully. Enjoy.

For Anyone (Else) Who Uses Punctuation When Sending Text Messages...

2008-03-20T06:52:00.001-05:00

...I think you might like this site I found on random.

37 is...

2008-03-18T12:28:00.002-05:00

...The normal human body temperature in degrees Celsius.

Expressed as a Roman numeral as XXXVII

Expressed as a Binary number as 0100101

It is a prime number, the fifth lucky prime, the first irregular prime, and the third unique prime

The atomic number of rubidium.

The number 666 (number) divided by its digits added together [37=666/(6+6+6)]

The number of slots in European Roulette

I-37 is the designation for a US interstate highway in Texas, running from San Antonio to Corpus Christi.

+37 was the international dialing code of the German Democratic Republic (aka East Germany). Today the +37 prefix is shared by Lithuania (+370), Latvia (+371), Estonia (+372), Moldavia (+373), Armenia (+374), Belarus (+375), Andorra (+376), Monaco (+377), San Marino (+378) and Vatican City (+379).

The Green Monster in Fenway Park is 37 feet tall.

There were 37 extramarital affairs on "Dallas" during the 1980s.

There are 37 miracles in the Bible.

"Les Miserables" has a cast of 37.

There are 37 ways to make $5 using denominations of 5.00, 1.00, 0.50, and 0.25.

A collection of Beethoven's complete symphonies would have 37 tracks.

Elaine slept with Jerry 37 times.

A world-record meatloaf contained 37 pounds of spices.

The 37th Pillsbury Bake-Off was won by contestant #37.

If a bunch of people toss their hats into the air and randomly retrieve them, the probability that no one will end up with their own hat is about 37%.

The 37th Greek word in Strong's dictionary is "hagiazo", which is translated as "hallow", "be holy" or "sanctify".

There are 37 different ways to throw 26 with 1 or 2 scoring darts.

There are 37 points in a "perfect" bridge hand.

37% of an AMC Pacer's surface area is glass; the Pacer's turning diameter is 37 feet.

By 1995 personal computers were in 37 percent of American households.

There are 37 characters available for use in personalized license plates.

37% of Americans claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.

The 37th Amendment guarantees that you can post whatever the hell you want to the net.

Only 37% of adults believe today's children will grow up to make the world a better place.

37% of pregnancies resulting from in vitro fertilization are multiple.

Tyrannosaurus rex has 37 vertebrae in its tail.

If a fertile man and woman have sex every day for a month, there is a 37% chance of pregnancy.

SPAM was invented in 1937.

William Shakespeare wrote 37 plays.

Michael Jackson's album "Thriller" was #1 for 37 weeks on the Billboard album chart.

From 37th American President Richard Nixon's resignation speech: "This is the 37th time I have spoken to you from this office."

Abraham Lincoln was first elected to the House of Representatives at age 37.

The only American President to resign from office was #37.

"Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss was sentenced to 37 months in prison.

The Hindenburg took 37 seconds to burn (in 1937).

Hannibal brought 37 elephants with him on his conquest of Rome.

Amelia Earhart disappeared in 1937.

Prior to marriage, Adolf Hitler's mother lived at peasant holding number 37 in Spital, Austria.

The reign of Emporer Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (Caligula) began (and correspondingly, the reign of Emporer Tiberius ended) in A.D. 37.

Lean women who exercise for at least four hours per week are 37% less likely to suffer breast cancer.

Some famous poets including Byron, Majakovsky, Rimbaud, Dylan Thomas and Pushkin died at age 37 (Pushkin in 1837). (Note).

INXS member Michael Hutchence died at age 37.

Bobbi McCaughey, the mother of the world's first surviving septuplets, spent 37 days in the hospital when she had the babies.

Monica Lewinsky was cleared to enter the White House 37 times between the time she left her staff job there in April 1996 to work at the Pentagon and December 1997.

Paula Jones' declaration in her lawsuit against Bill Clinton has 37 items.

37 seconds elapsed between the sighting of the iceberg and its collision with the Titanic.

And one more to grow on!

2008-03-17T09:01:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday to Joe Banks!

2008-03-17T08:49:00.007-05:00

Sheeeeeee's Baaaaaaaack!

2008-03-10T10:58:00.003-05:00

Out of the ashes she rises!Huzzuah and Halakaleem to Gert! Bravo for all of your learnings. Bravo for all of your courage. Bravo for lessons learned.

Welcome Back.

Not Exactly the Cougar I'm Looking For...

2008-03-07T13:09:00.007-06:00

I don't mind claws of a certain length...

Eyes that seem to light up the night are fine, too...

Being as lithe as a cat is a nice touch at times...

But, when a woman (of any age or classification) says she wants to eat me up, I need to know EXACTLY what she means by it.

Here, as Paul Harvey said, is the rest of the story

Orange Cones.

2008-03-04T08:46:00.004-06:00

Occassionally we all have to slow down and drive a bit more cautiously.
I think with the blog it just feels wrong right now to have all that out there while my creditibility is in question.
Not just with my family but the Universe.
I don't write with restrictions and often what I have said one day in the moment is not part of the end result of any given situation.
I vent. And there is not a thing that I have said I am ashamed of or won't own.
But on any given day with a Y I don't want that to hurt me or anyone else.

I am not ready to say a lot more about me today in terms of what is going on but I do know that all of you HERE and out there are with me.
I have the best friends.
Zelda, yours was the phone call I needed to get the day after.
And you are my wingman... my second phone call.

Joe. Unconditionally. And don't think I don't know it.

I am just a humbled Tigger right now.
I need to lay low and lick a few wounds that have been open for years.
I need to navigate the new landscape and make better smarter stronger decisions...

My family is all lining up on the scrimage line and everyone is being supportive and withholding judgement.

I will be back. I will be here at the Booth for now. Its just Geography after all.

Well I Think That Sucks

2008-03-03T17:52:00.002-06:00

Truly.
But I get it.
People who don't blog, don't get it. Don't understand. Their loss.
Just remember, Gert, you have people. People who love you unconditionally. People who don't think you are touched in the head and crazy. People who get it.

Write.
Don't let this stop you. Write and invite. VIP section only. It will help.

And remember, they love you too.

Down low. Murdered out.

2008-03-03T10:24:00.005-06:00

I am pulling the blog for a while.
Going to keep my thoughts to myself for the time being.
I will still read and post on your blogs and might even do some light "Hey I thought about this" blogging here or some guest blogging.
For now its radio silence at Um' You Make Me Weak.

Those of you close to me.... thank you for your support this weekend.
Those of you who don't yet know... I will be emailing you soon.
I don't feel like posting it yet or really talking about it.

I am sure the Old Cougar will feel like returning some time in the near future.
I will still be here reading about all of you.

...Fucking Ben Affleck

2008-02-25T11:03:00.001-06:00

Oh, this hurts. Put that coffee down.

2008-02-15T13:30:00.000-06:00

Writer's Guild Strike Update

2008-02-06T12:15:00.000-06:00

Here's a great entertainment blog and a detailed update on the latest news from Strikesville.

Take back your dresses and cancel your tuxes. The Vanity Fair party is cancelled regardless.

Come Out and Flay...!

2008-01-08T20:44:00.000-06:00

I knew I left somebody out of Gertrude's stable. Dammit, Joe!

Congratulations on infiltrating the supply chain. Spurlock's Aboveground Sneakery Society has it's first Spotlight Member of '08.

Congratulations on the job. Here's hopin' they have the 'net (without monitoring software).

Mojo for Gertrude

2008-01-08T10:46:00.000-06:00

Here's a bit of good mojo risin' for you, Gert!

Show those guys just what a vegetarian knows about about pork and other forms of meat...

SHE AIN'T SKEERED YA'LL!

Hang in there, baby.

No more Chicken Fried Steak!

2008-01-04T13:14:00.000-06:00

We made the National News. Zelda posted about this earlier but now we have the attention of the Nation!
BTW - I dearly miss Chuck House since giving up the red meat.

Back in Business

2008-01-03T11:33:00.001-06:00

Not to toot my own horn too loudly, but, go and check Some Things I Know and Some Things I Don't when you get a chance, or, better still, add it to your reader. I'm back.

Is this heaven? No...it's Iowa.

2008-01-02T17:56:00.001-06:00

and so it begins.
Change is upon us folks.
Giddyness abounds.

This is So Effin' Cool!

2007-12-31T15:37:00.000-06:00

AtomFilms.com: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

...or maybe I've just been at a desk for too long.

Nope, this is new shoes cool.

AND, there's 2 versions of it as a GAME. Say good-bye Office Productivity.

Good-bye Office Productivity.

Animator v. Animation

Animator v. Animation: Special Edition

Best Wishes to the Bride and Bride and Congratulations to the Groom and Groom!

2007-12-31T15:03:00.000-06:00

It is getting better somewhere in the world.
This is good news indeed.
Happy New Year New Hampshire!

A Horse of a Different Color for Gertrude

2007-12-31T11:57:00.000-06:00

A Bowl Game For Zelda

2007-12-31T11:53:00.000-06:00

2007-12-19T13:56:00.001-06:00

What'd I Miss?

2007-12-05T09:31:00.000-06:00

Came over to do a little post at Husdons and saw I'd been deleted? Whassup? If it was bout the work link, yes, I want that one to be completly on a need to know basis. No publicity. The bad people know where I write and though it's not an episode for the secret service...it's best to be quiet.

Joe, I deleted Zelda.

2007-12-03T13:51:00.000-06:00

Probably not a good idea to post the link as she probably just wants to remain under the radar on that one.

A cure for the common hangover....

2007-11-19T13:39:00.000-06:00

The Emergen C comes in several flavors if you don't like orange.

Take one whole BC Power and dump in into the glass with the Emergen C.
Add water.
Drink.

It'll all be better soon.

Don't go drinking without them.

I am sorry I didn't share this sooner.
It really does work.

George Clooney is a Scumbag?

2007-11-16T10:37:00.000-06:00

Someone has a death wish!

Fabio sas he chased George out of the bar.

What were they doing in same bar anyway?

How does Fabio get into the same bar as George?

On First Who Is...or Meesa Not Knowin' What'n Hoosa Onna Any Ting

2007-11-16T10:13:00.000-06:00

Meet the New Boss...Same as the Old Boss

2007-11-15T09:30:00.000-06:00

As you may have read in dear Gertrude's post, I am moving on. Actually, the entire firm is. The Great Provider is making preparations to return to Western Oklahoma to take on The Establishment out there and is merging our current practice with a new firm here in The City.

It was everyone's hope (and original intention) that I went along with the case load, not unlike a sports franchise changing cities and changing names but keeping the personel, but after a review of the new firm's financials, it was determined that my unique services could not be afforded.

'How can you afford not to keep me?' was the parenthetical response between 'Sure, I understand' and 'If you need any help with these yahoos, just let me know'

So, from their parking lot I called and left a message for another firm (who had been quite an arch nemesis of ours over the years) that had expressed interest after the news broke that we were shutting down. They weren't the only ones who had tapped me on the shoulder down at the courthouse, but they were the one who had been the most convincing ('Talk to me before you talk to anyone else') and had immediate space and need.

The next morning on the way downtown, my phone rang and within the first 10 seconds, I had the job and was told 'We have an office waiting for you'. So, the ultimate goal, an uninterrupted stream of income, has been accomplished.

When I told my sister (who worked with us a few years ago while she was finishing up her undergrad degree and was all too aware of the nemesis firm) who I was going to work for, she howled and said 'That's like Clark Kent going to work for Lex Luthor!'

So, today and the first part of tomorrow will be the last of my time here at The All Family Law Firm and then I'm off to Lexcorp to save the world one family at a time there.

Still tons to do and things (notes, papers, reference materials, intellectual properties) to transfer, save and move. And then there's the client's...

Some may choose to follow me, most will be going along with the New Firm. Que sera sera.

Five and half years at a job that was supposed to last a summer to fill in for an abandoned post; before I knew what was happening, I was good, very good, at the job that has turned into an ersatz career. Beats diggin' a hole. Or being a hole.

I'll keep you updated on the new regime and the transistion(s) in general.

Thanks for honk, Gert. Your praise means more than you know. It's a odd and crooked road, but we're making it.

Do you think I am sexy?

2007-11-15T09:21:00.000-06:00

Matt Damon

I don't.

I don't really think he can act either.
I think he does write well.
And his comments about being amiddle aged man are hysterical.

But I don't see it.
Not sexy.

Who was sexy this year?

You know I am going to say Russell.
I also think it was a very good year for George.

However, Patrick Dempsey should have been in there.
It was a great year for Patrick. And I saw him on the cover of People more than I did Mr. Damon.

Blair Underwood.
Consider that the sexiest man alive has never been black.
With Obamagasim's every where it would have been a nice year.
Considering that the world embraces trends... Halle, Denzel...

I also think Christian Bale is quite fabulous.
He had a very nice year.

So what are your thoughts on this?
Seems like a nice discussion to have over a few beers?
Do you find Matt sexy? Why?
Who is your sexy man?

The Blustery Day!

2007-11-14T18:40:00.000-06:00

The leaves are changing and Jack Frost is coming!
Fall is falling.

Mathematical Model for Sucess

2007-11-13T10:20:00.000-06:00

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%…

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is expressed mathematically and represented numberically where A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, F=6, G=7, H=8, I=9, J=10, K=11, L=12, M=13, N=14, O=15, P=16, Q=17, R=18, S=19, T=20, U=21, V=22, W=23, X=24, Y=25, and Z=26, Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11)= 98%

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5)= 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5)= 100%

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T (2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20)= 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G (1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7) = 118%

IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH, you can always take things to the next level…

B-L-A-C-K-M-A-I-L A-N-D E-X-T-O-R-T-I-O-N (2+12+1+3+11+13+1+9+1+14+4+5+25+20+15+18+20+9+15+14)= 212%

S-L-E-E-P-I-N-G W-I-T-H T-H-E B-O-S-S (19+12+5+5+16+9+14+7+23+9+20+8+20+8+5+2+15+19+19)= 235% (!)

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass Kissing will put you over the top, while Blackmail and Extortion and Sleeping with the Boss remain the keys to success in the corporate world!!!

George flips off the Man Root of Romance!

2007-11-12T15:25:00.000-06:00

George fights Fabio!

Would have loved to been a fly on the wall.
Kick his ass Gorgeous George!

And then...

2007-11-09T16:59:00.000-06:00

POOF! she was gone!

Naturally, I'm the Bald One...

2007-11-07T12:19:00.000-06:00

Doc

Ah Ah Ah Ah Chooooo!

2007-11-07T11:36:00.000-06:00

The Dwarf Test

Which one are you?
I am A-Choooo... Sneezy.

Winter allergies got the best of me already.
All this stuff blowing around.

So I am taking a sick day today.
Good news for Noodle when Mom is sick because I usually let her stay home from school.
Yes, because I am too lazy, sick or tired to get up and drive her.
She has been having headaches anyway.
Good to have a day off now and again.

Finished... I mean, whipped right through The Other Boelyn Girl!!!!!

LOVED IT!!!!*****
I might be a little late on this because I know everyone read this last year but WOW! I am back in the saddle again and cannot wait to read the next book!
I have always had a thing for Anne Boelyn. After all she had six fingers. And now, woof! I am flopping on the bank.
Behind the scenes in the Court, splendid! Not too much landscape or skirts or baubbles... all just story and meat. Loved it! Loved it!

If anyone wants it, let me know and I will send it out.
Guaranteed a good day's worth of great, gripping couch potato reading!
Freaking Historical Fiction sucks me in every time.

I Don't Even Want to Know if This is "Real" or Not...

2007-11-07T00:01:00.000-06:00

Actually, "Rainbow" was a highly successful children's television programme broadcast in the United Kingdom from 1972 to 1992.

The story behind this, um, sketch, is told in detail here.

And this is what the British consider an equivalent of "Sesame Street"???

One More Reason I Miss Charles Schultz...(or How to Sneak Socio-Religious Commentary into Everyday Life)

2007-11-05T20:02:00.000-06:00

On the "Hey Ya" tip...

2007-10-29T17:14:00.000-05:00

Mosey on over to Some Things I Know and Some Things I Don't and check out this little gem that I found today while taking a leisurely stroll around the interwebs.

Too Much Fun.

2007-10-29T16:15:00.000-05:00

Love that crazy Peanuts dancin'...

And the winner is... KIZZ!

2007-10-19T20:32:00.000-05:00

I couldn't find an appropriate award so I am posting a picture of the dog I want!
A West Highland Terroir!
What a darling!

What am i awarding you for?

For being the fastest blogger in the whole wide world of course.
I have not logged on this week....

16 blogs! WOW!

I am subscribed and hooked.
Thank you for feeding my addiction.

If I can't be in NYC...
I will live vicariously through you!

Tough Day for Joe's...

2007-10-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

The last surviving member of The Rat Pack,
Joey Bishop, has joined the rest of the boys at the bar. I wouldn’t want to pick up tonight’s tab.

For those keeping score at home, (in order of merging with the Infinite)…

Peter Lawford (Peter Sydney Lawford) “Brother-in-Lawford”
(born September 7, 1923
died December 24, 1984)

Sammy Davis Jr. (Samuel George Davis, Jr.) “Smokey”
(born December 8, 1925 died May 16, 1990)

Dean Martin (ne’ Dino Paul Crocetti)
(born June 7, 1917 died December 25, 1995

Frank Sinatra (Francis Albert Sinatra) “The Chairman”
(born December 12, 1915 died May 14, 1998)

Joey Bishop
(born February 3, 1918 died October 17, 2007)

How's yer bird, now? Have ONE on me tonight, fellas. And throw a little ring-a-ding in for good measure, you wouldn't wanna pull up short, first night back.

…in Other News Around the Joes

Joe Torre told The Boss “Thanks, but no thanks” today. This one’s gonna be tough for us in The Evil Empire.

...and as for your most favoritist Joe, me, is concerned, to quote a former Blue Angels pilot we grew up with, “My life is one big bowl of FUCK.” In other words, the lightning keeps getting closer.

Got the final word on last day of The Firm today: November 15th—Which, is better than the original end date of October 26th that was originally set.

There are certain options on the stove, none of which have materialized just yet, but, there’s more that goes along with the closing that I’ll write about when I have a better stomach for it.

In any case, when I jump into this Volcano, it damn well better spit me out. Right now, I’m just searching for my trunks.

Wherever we go…whatever we do…

I freaking love Wikipedia! Look what they have added!

2007-10-16T20:42:00.000-05:00

Wiktionary is run by the Wikimedia Foundation, a non-profit foundation registered in Florida, USA. Wikimedia operates several other multilingual and open-content sister wiki projects: Wikipedia
The Free Encyclopedia
Wikibooks
Free textbooks and manuals
Wikinews
Free-content news
Wikisource
The free library
Wikispecies
Directory of species
Wikiquote
Collection of quotations
Commons
Shared media repository
Meta-Wiki
Wikimedia project coordination
Wikiversity
Free learning tools

I can't get it to transfer so you will have all the fancy links but check it all out. Quotes and dictionary, shared media!

God I love the internet. Even if the Goracle didn't invent it!

Look at this great Gilmore Girls post!

Its got quotes by episode. Oh sweet mother!

[Lorelai and Rory are arguing because Lorelai has invited Dean over to watch a movie.]
Lorelai: Stop saying mother like that.
Rory: Like what?
Lorelai: Like there's supposed to be another word after that.

[Lorelai and Rory continue to argue.]
Lorelai: You're comparing me to my mother?
Rory: No, I just...
Lorelai: I'm Emily Gilmore now? My, how the mighty have fallen.

Huzzuah and Happy Birthday!!!!

2007-10-15T10:10:00.000-05:00

Come take a walk with me for your birthday. I love you! Hope it's just the kind of day you want!

An Inconvenient Irony...or War and Peace (in What Didn't Necessarily Have to Be a Post 9/11 World)

2007-10-12T13:40:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, two men ran for President of A Very Important Country...and, in a funny thing that had never happened before and has only happened twelve times since, they both won. But since two people can't both be President of A Very Important Country, something had to be done. What was done is actually a different story than the one we'll tell here today (it's actually more of a very scary campfire story, to be sure).

The focus of this story is not what was done, but of what the two men who ran for President of A Very Important Country did after what was done (in the very scary campfire story) was done.

One of the men, who you have all come to know as The Goracle, was disappointed, no doubt, especially considering what was done, but he didn't wallow in his disappointment or let it get him down. He knew that he could still be A Very Important Person of A Very Important Country, and more to the point, of A Very Important World (considering it was, at that point, the only world they had).

So, The Goracle went about the same business he intended to tend to even if what had been done hadn't been done (with the notable exeption of going to funerals of people whose name other people couldn't pronounce even before there was a funeral to go to as well as listening to a lot of nasty arguing between all the other people who were either for, or against, his particular style of business).

The other man, who you have all come to know as The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, went about the same business that his father had once started but was unable to finish because The People of A Very Important Country saw there was a better person who could do a better job and politely asked The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken's father to sit this one out.

Unfortunately, The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken's father's business was not a particularly nice business (it focused on doing bad things to people who may or may not have been particularly bad, but why let a little thing like details slow us down at this point I say). But the son was certainly the man born to finish the father's unfinished business and he went right to work ununfinishing it. The son was even lucky enough to have a lot of his father's handymen around (who themselves were actually an unfinished part of the unfinished business we would all learn before the ununfinishing was acturally finished).

Meanwhile, The Goracle kept up with his business.

And The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken actually proved to be quite adept at being inept at ununfinishing business, or even at finishing those things not unfinished, even moreso than his father had ever dreamed of, however ineptly he may have adeptly dreamed in the first place.

Several years went by, with both men carrying on with (un)finishing their respective business(es), and as The Very Inevitable End of The Most Important Job of A Very Important Country was approaching for The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, The People of A Very Important Country and the rest of A Very Important World took a long and hard look at the two men...

And they compared what they saw...

And they took another long and hard look at the two men...

And they, again, compared what they saw (for some, this required comparing new things they hadn't noticed the first time against old things they actually had noticed earlier, but, not having the new things to which they could compare the old, yet now, having both sets of things, could now adequately internally process all things seen)...

And they thought how about how differently the two men had gone about (un)finishing their respective business(es) and couldn't help but notice that their was a very big difference, not just between the two men as men, but between their respective handling of their respective business(es).

In fact, they were quite the opposite if the truth be spoken or even whispered.

Which is what some of us had been saying for a long time, anyway, for different reasons at different times, but, still, it wasn't as earthshattering as the (un)finishing of some people's respective business(es).

As you have all learned in micro-ssori monte-primary school, The People of A Very Important World decided what The People of A Very Important Country already had once decided (regardless of what was done having been done and remained decidedly unundone) and so they rewarded this man with a very noble prize for his business.

As for The Other He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, well, there is a reason his name must not be spoken, and why all small, greenish, not quite trees must be referred to as either Shrubs or (the more descriptive, but decidedly longer)Greenish, Not Quite Trees, but, there is also an even more important reason that his business, and his ununfinishing of it, must always be remembered and spoken of, so that we may all avoid unununfinishing it again, even if by mistake.

Congratulations on the 25.3 Zelda!

2007-10-12T10:27:00.000-05:00

Anthony is sending you a thumbs up!

You do look Mahvelous darling!

36 your table is now ready. . .

2007-10-11T22:43:00.000-05:00

Do we have (dare I even ask) plans to celebrate the new number? someone hollar at me and let me know.

Sunburned in October...?

2007-10-08T10:11:00.000-05:00

I got sunburned yesterday while shooting some exteriors for the short we're working on right now. On October the freaking 7th!

I was so looking forward to working on my winter pastiness, too...

Oh, well. It could be worse, I could be a Chicago marathoner, right? (Actually, it couldn't actually be that at all, no way I could be a marathoner, let alone from Chicaaago)

Good to know that Global Warming/Climate Change really is just a bunch of fakeness, innit?

Ten Things Tuesday: The List That Got Googlewhacked

2007-10-02T17:59:00.000-05:00

So, I started off trying to collect 10 googlewhacks from my stack of words no one else has ever needed to use and I typed "christian porn" thinking There's NO way this is already out there, right? I mean, COME ON Christian Porn?!? Now, I'm not saying that the phrase is so overwhelmingly unique that I didn't think anyone else could put those two words side by side on purpose, but I did not expect to find what I did.

Christian Porn

I don't think I'm making fun of this site, it's author(s) or the concept, really; it's just that I am simply flabbergasted. Sure, the "Christian Movement," or, more accurately, Evangelical Christians, have co-opted rock, metal and rap (which was always a bit confusing to me--I like a bit of rebellion in the music I'm cruising, headbanging or bussin' a cap to), they've got their "own" stand-up comedians (who mostly make fun of being made fun of for being Christians; and come one, who really can read Revelations without seeing the slapstick potential?), their "own" Mary-Kate and Ashley style direct to DVD franchises, they have Kirk Cameron, so why not their "own" porn, too?

Why not, indeed.

I can't begin to describe the images flying through my head before I actually read the site...I'm sure they're similair to the ones clouding your vision right now (then again, maybe yours or worse)

There's even rules (more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules)

There's a loophole (pun mildly intended) or backdoor (definitely intended) for everything, it'nt there?

It must depict only (real life) married couples engaging in sexual acts.

It must portray sex within the context of a Christian marriage.

It must be instructional.

Husband and wife must both receive their due benevolence.

No extramarital sex, unless it is to illustrate the downfalls of adultery.

It must be uplifting and inspirational, focusing on strengthening Christian marriage and Christian faith.

No profanity.

Well then, verily I say unto you...Is that even porn?

Let ye with a free hand cast the first cock into the burning bush, right?

To Top it All Off, we find the following list of links at the bottom of the page:

More Articles:

Oral Sex and God's Will

Anal Sex and God's Will

Viagra and God's Will

Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage

Reader Questions and Answers

Masturbation - God's Great Gift to Us

Bondage in Christ - BDSM in a Christian Marriage

Fisting and God's Will new!

I don't know if I've ever been so enlightened and scared at the same time.

Ten Things Tuesday: Mad Libs Edition

2007-10-02T14:25:00.000-05:00

I used to love these things!

So I don't know what got me thinking about them... my lack of creativity today may be.
So here is what I came up with to resplace my lame ass earlier post.

If you had a penis/vagina (opposite of what you have today) the first day you would….

Everyone can be bought. Your Price is Right is….

The one thing that would complete you is….

The food that best describes you is….

If life is a highway, your speed limit is….

Ten years ago I started______for myself and I still do it today.

I’ve never had but always wanted….

The one thing I have never done for love but know I would is….

If I were a Muppet, I would be….

If you could give away one thing to everyone in the world… you would give them….
(Catch 22: you can never again have it for yourself)

For Kizz. I will always go there.

2007-09-28T19:01:00.000-05:00

Tell Prudence Gertrude and Jane say "Hello." They love a well placed out burst!

Get well soon Zelda!

2007-09-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

I loved this ad!

The First Ten Things (Posted on a Tuesday)

2007-09-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

The ten questions by Bernard Pivot that host James Lipton asks every guest are:

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
4. What turns you off?
5. What sound or noise do you love?
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
7. What is your favorite curse word?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"One of the great things about acting is to suddenly be able to tell someone who has a chain saw at your face to go shove it up his ass." - Al Pacino

"Another fucking Actor!" Grace for Kizz.

2007-09-25T11:04:00.000-05:00

Thats Marsha Mason's response to Richard Dryfuss in The Good Bye Girl!
I find so much inspiration in that movie.

Here are a few thoughts I found for you:

James Lipton: What is your favorite curse word?
Jack Lemmon: Cocksucking motherfucker.

James Lipton: What is your least favorite word?
Mark Wahlberg: Is "Marky Mark" one word?

His infamous answer to "if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you reach the pearly gates?"]
Harrison Ford: You're much better-looking in person.

Harrison Ford:
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

James Lipton: What is your favourite word?
Meryl Streep: I... well, y'know, I don't want to lie...
James Lipton: Don't lie.
Meryl Streep: Because I knew that this was coming and so I asked my daughter what her favourite word is and she's six and ever since she said her favourite word, which she said without hesitating, I can't think of anything else...
James Lipton: Say it.
Meryl Streep: Coconut milk.

Dustin Hoffman:
"In acting, you try to admit more than the lesser crime. You want to get down to the deeper crimes of your self." We are so flawed as humans. When you sit on a hot radiator, you immediately jump off. When we touch those hot areas in ourselves that we really don't like on a deep level, we get off those spots as quickly as possible. As an actor, we need to sit on them, "shake hands with the Devil."

On the value of imagination vs experience: Strasberg taught that your body is your instrument. Get to know your body, the physical and emotional, and how they integrate with each other as best you can. Find value in the exercises that help you learn to relax in front of an audience no matter what you're feeling, in sense memory exercises. But those are only exercises, they are not acting technique. They are tools you can use if you need them to help you connect, but if you can get it from the material, from your acting partner or partners, do that. The Method is your own method, discover what works for you. This nonsense about feeling everything--you can't. You just can't. It is amazing that you can fulfill the director's direction and the author's intention just by doing it. If the script says to yell the lines, then yell them. There's no feeling there, you just do it. Sometimes the lines are just said and that's it. There's no acting involved.

Robert Downey Jr.:

I know very little about acting. I'm just an incredibly gifted faker.

I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you've done.

When you have a good script you're almost in more trouble than when you have a terrible script.

You won't get one of these if you act like one of these! Um, that was from me.

Bukowski to the Rescue

2007-09-24T10:52:00.000-05:00

Cut While Shaving

It's never quite right, he said, the way people look,
the way the music sounds, the way the words are
written.
It's never quite right, he said, all the things we are
taught, all the loves we chase, all the deaths we
die, all the lives we live,
they are never quite right,
they are hardly close to right,
these lives we live
one after the other,
piled there as history,
the waste of the species,
the crushing of the light and the way,
it's not quite right,
it's hardly right at all
he said.

don't I know it? I
answered.

I walked away from the mirror.
it was morning, it was afternoon, it was
night

nothing changed
it was locked in place.
something flashed, something broke, something
remained.

I walked down the stairway and
into it.

~ Charles Bukowski (1920-1994)

Another chance for soul sucking pessimism can be found here.

STING - Brand New Day

2007-09-21T07:42:00.001-05:00

A Brand New Day: for Gert

2007-09-21T07:32:00.000-05:00

25 Years of :-)

2007-09-18T11:26:00.000-05:00

Digital 'smiley face' turns 25

By DANIEL LOVERING, Associated Press Writer

It was a serious contribution to the electronic lexicon. :-) Twenty-five years ago, Carnegie Mellon University professor Scott E. Fahlman says, he was the first to use three keystrokes — a colon followed by a hyphen and a parenthesis — as a horizontal "smiley face" in a computer message.

To mark the anniversary Wednesday, Fahlman and his colleagues are starting an annual student contest for innovation in technology-assisted, person-to-person communication. The Smiley Award, sponsored by Yahoo Inc., carries a $500 cash prize.

Language experts say the smiley face and other emotional icons, known as emoticons, have given people a concise way in e-mail and other electronic messages of expressing sentiments that otherwise would be difficult to detect.

Fahlman posted the emoticon in a message to an online electronic bulletin board at 11:44 a.m. on Sept. 19, 1982, during a discussion about the limits of online humor and how to denote comments meant to be taken lightly.

"I propose the following character sequence for joke markers: :-)," wrote Fahlman. "Read it sideways."

The suggestion gave computer users a way to convey humor or positive feelings with a smile — or the opposite sentiments by reversing the parenthesis to form a frown.

Carnegie Mellon said Fahlman's smileys spread from its campus to other universities, then businesses and eventually around the world as the Internet gained popularity.

Computer science and linguistics professors contacted by The Associated Press said they were unaware of who first used the symbol.

"I've never seen any hard evidence that the :-) sequence was in use before my original post, and I've never run into anyone who actually claims to have invented it before I did," Fahlman wrote on the university's Web page dedicated to the smiley face. "But it's always possible that someone else had the same idea — it's a simple and obvious idea, after all."

Variations, such as the "wink" that uses a semicolon, emerged later. And today people can hardly imagine using computer chat programs that don't translate keystrokes into colorful graphics, said Ryan Stansifer, a computer science professor at the Florida Institute of Technology.

"Now we have so much power, we don't settle for a colon-dash-paren," he said. "You want the smiley face, so all these chatting softwares have to have them."

Instant messaging programs often contain an array of faces intended to express emotions ranging from surprise to affection to embarrassment.

"It has been fascinating to watch this phenomenon grow from a little message I tossed off in 10 minutes to something that has spread all around the world," Fahlman was quoted as saying in a university statement. "I sometimes wonder how many millions of people have typed these characters, and how many have turned their heads to one side to view a smiley, in the 25 years since this all started."

Amy Weinberg, a University of Maryland linguist and computer scientist, said emoticons such as the smiley were "definitely creeping into the way, both in business and academia, people communicate."

"In terms of things that language processing does, you have to take them into account," she said. "If you're doing almost anything ... and you have a sentence that says 'I love my boss' and then there's a smiley face, you better not take that seriously."

Emoticons reflect the likely original purpose of language — to enable people to express emotion, said Clifford Nass, a professor of communications at Stanford University. The emotion behind a written sentence may be hard to discern because emotion is often conveyed through tone of voice, he said.

"What emoticons do is essentially provide a mechanism to transmit emotion when you don't have the voice," Nass said.

In some ways, he added, they also give people "the ability not to think as hard about the words they're using."

Stansifer said the emoticon was part of a natural progression in communication.

"I don't think the smiley face was the beginning and the end," he said. "All people at all times take advantage of whatever means of communication they have."

200 beers

2007-09-16T12:47:00.000-05:00

to celebrate 200 posts.

huzzuah.

Ten Things Tuesday: My Best Good Favorite Films I Can Watch on a Loop (Not Necessarily the Ones Everyone Knows I Like Edition)

2007-09-11T16:58:00.000-05:00

Caught a rebroadcast of AFI’s 100 Years...100 Movies — 10th Anniversary Edition hosted by Morgan Freeman on Bravo last night. There were some surprises; some movies fell off the list completely, others jumped a bunch, a few stayed just about where they should be. Catch both lists here if you're interested.

So, here are a few of my favorite not necessarily the films/movies we're all "suppose" to like for the purpose of sounding filmicly literate, but movies/films that I just absolutely enjoy watching. And that's the whole point, isn't it? Be they movies, films, books, music or karaoke night; it's about what speaks to you, what turns you on, what scratches your itch, what fills your belly, for whatever reason, no matter if you can support your attraction with a for-publication-ready-analytical-essay. I like 'em. 'Nuff Said.

Now, in No Particular Order...

GoodFellas [1990]

So much more than just the 'funny how?' scene or the classic walk through the restaurant single camera shot. Though that's just about all I need. Makes me glad Scorsese decided not to be a prieset. Although I canprobably quote his films better than I can the Bible.

Raiders of the Lost Ark [1981]

The Hat. The Whip. The Magic Map. The snakes. At the risk of tempting the wrath of Those Who Love the 'Stache, it's a good thing Magnum, P.I. was shooting in Hawaii, isn't it?

Empire Strikes Back [1980]

My family and I (plus our BFF family growing up) stood outside the Apollo Twin Theatre in Enid, Oklahoma in 100+ degree heat (remember the heat wave of 1980?) all day (in shifts mind you) to be the first people to buy tickets for 'Empire'. We got 'em. And it was worth it. "I know"

The Natural [1984]

Quite simply the best baseball movie ever. Anything I try to say will take away.

The Princess Bride [1987]

Simple. Stagy. Smart. And it may very well be the most quoted movie of my generation. This is one that should be playing at the Karaoke Movie Bars. Every one of you can say along credits to credits, I know you can!

The Village [2004]

The sweetest of all Shyamalan's films, so far. Bryce Dallas Howard killed me in this. And the words are so deliberately chosen, but still are conversational within their context. Adrien Brody, Joaquin Phoenix, Sigorney Weaver and William Hurt all got upstaged (the way actors are supposed to be upstaged--memo to Nathan Lane) by Bryce Dallas Howard. They were great and each one perfectly cast. She, however, breaks my heart throughout this picture.

Silverado [1985]

Just a great new era western with an old western feel. Lots of great quotable dialogue ("Mister, I don't wanna kill you and you don't wanna be dead"; "All I did was kiss a girl"; "Today my jurisdiction ends here"; and the best one--"Mind? You brought a posse to my best hideout and you ask me if I mind?!?") and a cast that, just a few years later, would collectively cost close to $150 million just to sign them all up. This from the same guy who wrote "The Empire Strikes Back", too.

Dead Poets Society [1989]

I don't care how much people whine about the sentimentality of this picture, it definitely was the right movie at the right time for me. (I like Dickens, too, so there!) This movie made me want to read; not just poetry, everything. And it helped give me the confidence I needed that my thoughts and words just might be worth writing down. (I know the jury's still out on that one, but, presumably, you're still reading this) I don't think I'll ever be able to watch the ending with out tearing up and becoming covered with goosebumps. Oh, and Mr. Keating was right...we do read and write poetry to woo women; and ocassionally, it works, too.

The Departed [2006]

Scorsese goes all Mick on us again. And this time, he's brought Jack along for the ride. Classic the moment it was released. Sheen, Wahlberg, Baldwin, Damon, EVERYBODY broght their A PLUS game to this. Plus, I can never get enough of the Dropkick Murphys. As long as Leo keeps working with Scorcese and doing what he can to live up to the potential he first showed us in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' I might yet forgive him for that POS Titantic.

Mary Poppins [1963]

Worst British accent captured on film until Costner's 'Prince of Thieves' came along, but regardless, my eyes nearly popped out of my head watching Dick Van Dyke dancing with the penguins as a kid. Even in post-Roger Rabbit rotoscope America, it's still impressive. I still laugh more than I should during the "Love to Laugh" scene. Great music (the strings on 'Chim-Chim-Cheree' still give me the willies), great dancing, great story, great Disney Jazz-Era-Scratch animation; great movie.

...and I'm spent!

I can't help "Fall"ing in love....Ten Things Tuesday: Early Fall Edition:

2007-09-11T11:42:00.000-05:00

We had our first "cold snap" as folks around here say.

I am sorry that Zelda was not here to enjoy it.

!. Shorts and Sweatshirts...Sweaters! Comfort clothing!
2. Jack o lanterns and gourds... hay!
3. Mums, pansies....Fall flowers and the colors!
4. Stoups (Stew/soup), crusty breads. Food that warms your bones right up.
5. Brisk mornings...cleaning house with all the windows open!
6. Dew
7. Halloween!
8. My birthday...even though I hate it.
9. Zelda's birthday
10. Football!

It's an amazing time to live in a prairie state in the fall!
I love it when the seasons change! All of the sudden, one day its just different. And all the memories com flooding back.
Its just that reminder than no matter how complacent you may feel and how the days seem to run together sometimes...Change will always come.

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place." ~Washington Irving

Aughh, Dammit, George!

2007-09-10T18:17:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just think he's trying to see how large he can push the world wide gross to shitty title ratio.

He could have named this one "Indiana Jones and the Lost Waffle House Sanitation Standards Manual" and we'd all go see it anyway!

But, Jeez! Not just 'Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull'...NO! It has to be the KINGDOM of the Crystal Skull.

How about '...and the Keys to the Franchise" for the young Mr. LeBeouf? That one wasn't taken, was it?

And HEY! I thought one of the benefits of having producing partners was too keep one or more of you from pulling stupid shit like this! Shame on you Sir Steven!

Aw, to hell with it...When does the line form?

I've got this $ idea $...

2007-09-04T15:36:00.000-05:00

to make a little money on the side.

And a couple of business plans to use as a jumping off mark (and to improve upon--with a better endgame)

Gertrude, Joe and Jane. (she'll politely hand the teller's the note)

Knock Knock!

2007-09-04T14:17:00.000-05:00

Does no one have a response to the pics I posted on "Weak"
Hello.... Bob Dog.

Shit I was all ready to dish.

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern...

2007-09-04T10:06:00.000-05:00

...still wondering why I didn't just flee the patio with Gert laughing in my wake when I first felt the urge. Many more of these episodes and I will soon be in the Veggiesaurus line at the Food Court. (Although I'm sure he'll find a way to make roughage seem disgusting, too)

Three words.

Jellied.
Moose.
Nose.

Gertrude, she of the 'We have to move today, there's a spider in the garage' laughed and giggled at the carnosaur gone pale sitting across the patio table from her and made an excellent point...

Since leaving the Cooked Flesh line at the Food Court, she doesn't have to imagine the next plate of Food With a Face she tackles causing a Flashback UpChuck due to an involuntary optical replacement waking daymare sneaking into the Culinary Reality Show that is Today's Lunch.

But, like any good train wreck, I continued watching. Even after she went to bed. Call me Tofu Joe from here on in. I'm out.

What are your goals?

2007-08-29T09:46:00.001-05:00

"It is not enough to take steps which may someday lead to a goal; each step must
be itself a goal and a step likewise." -- Goethe

Dubya of the Dead

2007-08-27T09:44:00.000-05:00

Braaaaaaainsss!!!

Raise, Call, or Fold?

2007-08-24T01:41:00.000-05:00

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.

~William Arthur Ward (1921 – 1994) (exerpted from "The Risk")

Quotesville, Exit 2

2007-08-23T11:05:00.000-05:00

“Youth should be radical. Youth should demand change in the world. Youth should not accept the old order if the world is to move on. But the old orders should not be moved easily -- certainly not at the mere whim or behest of youth. There must be clash and if youth hasn't enough force or fervor to produce the clash the world grows stale and stagnant and sour in decay.”

~ William Allen White (American Journalist known as the Sage of Emporia, whose mixture of tolerance, optimism, liberal Republicanism and provincialism made him the epitome of the thoughtful small-town American. (1868-1944)

“When I was old enough to realize all meat was killed, I saw it as an irrational way of using our power, to take a weaker thing and mutilate it. It was like the way bullies would take control of younger kids in the schoolyard.”

~ River Phoenix

Quote of the Day: Thursday Edition

2007-08-22T21:22:00.000-05:00

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day."

~ Frank Sinatra (sometimes attributed to Dean Martin)

Quote of the Day

2007-08-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

"At night, in those corners of our minds we deny by day, magical things can happen in the moon shadows. And if they can't (a) they should, and (b) we should always, in any event, act as if they can."

~ Roger Ebert, in his review of Joe Versus the Volcano

F$#king Squirrels!!

2007-08-21T21:30:00.000-05:00

Which Eddie Izzard Joke Are You?

THE SQUIRREL JOKE!Just because youre profane doesnt mean youre not hilarious. Youre the unique kind of joke people remember for a long time.
Take this quiz!

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2007-08-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

Which Eddie Izzard Joke Are You?

THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND JOKE!Have you ever impersonated Sean Connery? You might want to try it; it seems to be in your nature. Just try not to offend too many people.
Take this quiz!

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2007-08-21T02:38:00.002-05:00

You scored as Remus Lupin, You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about.

Remus Lupin

100%

Harry Potter

90%

Sirius Black

75%

Hermione Granger

75%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Lord Voldemort

70%

Ginny Weasley

70%

Draco Malfoy

65%

Severus Snape

65%

Ron Weasley

55%

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